barely fatal

Disclaimer: Err… actually I wrote the first draft of this posting on Sunday last week, but it went through so many iterations… the topics might seem a little random.  Welcome to my brain.

I was off this universe’s radar for a couple days, but I’m back now, stronger than ever (fo’ real), richer of pleasant and less-than experiences, you just wait. Back to work tomorrow, and I’m actually looking forward to it. To some degree.

I visited an old friend’s wedding yesterday last weekend. So old, we hadn’t seen each other in six or so years. It was a nice, very quiet ceremony, and a nice, not so quiet reception (peculiarly, half Polish, half German). My friend seemed to be very happy, and he deserves it, too. I’m sure I’ll see him more often now, though he can keep his polish Vodka to himself.

I wasn’t the only old friend he had dug up. Besides some faces I barely remembered, he had also invited someone who used to be an important person in my life, a many years ago. At first, we avoided each other, almost circled, testing the maximum range of our lasers so to speak.  When we finally talked we found we could cover trivialities just fine, though. We just avoided any talk about our occupations and locations as if we had a common agreement, no words necessary. It was a fun evening and I do not regret having come the long way to my home town.

Theres just this … thing. I really thought I’d be immune after all these years, after all what was said and done, after becoming a grown-up with a job and all. But apparently, this one thing will never change. Whenever I see her, no matter for how short, where or in which context, some kind of chemical reaction is triggered in my brain that can be stopped by nothing, not substances nor ignorance. And although I know it’s all going go to be back to normal again in a couple days (update: check), I also know that there will be this reflection, this residue. Something that I can’t quite grasp, just out of reach, something that has been lost and missing for a very long while. Something that can make me feel terribly sad. Something that is completely gone when see her. There is no rational explanation. I’ve tried them all, and so did all my friends. It’s the one big thing I just can’t help, let alone explain. Or fix. Oh well, as they say: life’s a bitch, and when you finally know it, you die.

I spent my off time watching Wanted: Weapons of Fate (steer clear of that one if you value your brain cells) and Kung Fu Panda (which was great). I also suffered through the minor design problems of Overlord 2. I was close to giving it up a couple times, but I still go back trying to beat it. I tried the demo of Grid 2, and boy, that thing looks photo-fantastic. And also checked out the Wet demo (very cool style but I’m too old for that hectic jumpy-shooty) and Batman Arkham Asylum, which resulted in me spending my last birthday coupons on it. It seems to be what the new Riddick wanted to be, and it, too, looks fantastic – for a console game. Yes, I know, PC is king, but I just love my sofa.

And then I tried to relax, plant some flowers (on my balcony, yesss no shit) get some fresh air, get out and strain a muscle or two, in the sun even. I’m full of ideas, now I gotta try holding on to them and spreading them over the next days and weeks – I burn them too fast otherwise. I feel inspired. As always after meeting her ^^^. Life’s a bitch.

I’ve been off sick for a week, off the job, off the internet. After many visits to different doctors and a whole bunch of tests (including electric shocks) they still have no clue what it actually is that I have, but I’m taking some meds now (beats sitting around waiting, doing nothing) and we all hope for the best. I’ll go back to work tomorrow, I’m not contagious or anything (apparently). But the whole story leaves me be a little nervous and uncertain of where this is gonna go. I have appointments for more tests within the next month, maybe we’ll learn more, or it’ll just go away, or I’ll simply die, well, we’ll see I guess. Long live the modern medicine. Oh, I don’t have HIV by the way, isn’t that a relief. But they somehow failed to let me know my blood type. I would guess it’s … huh, U, as in Unknown.

I watched a lot of shows, no surprise, given all the free time on my hands (when I wasn’t sitting in some doctor’s waiting room reading month-old tabloids). I enjoyed my birthday presents, The Wire is still the better show compared to The Shield, but season 4 lacked a little action. The Shield has plenty of that, but lacks a little … acting. I could use a break now from cop shows. What’s hot and available as a box set?

I very much enjoyed playing through Ghostbusters, as an extension to the movies it really does a good job. All the well-known characters and locations – *sigh*, almost like going back to my childhood. We used to play GB on a C64 back in the day, holding the proton back now and busting with Egon and Ray feels like coming home. The textures look a little washed-out in some parts of New York, okay, but the faces look just like real. The final boss fights could have been a little more complex. This is not an open world game, you go into an area, catch the ghosts, move on. But hell, I’ve had fun doing so. Even after picking up a team mate for the third time in a fight. The Vigo portrait in the fire house has so many great lines to say, the Stay Puffed fight, Bill Murray’s voice, the destruction you can cause with your packs … I just wish it was a little longer. But I’ll be damned, I’ll have to get the movie on Blu-ray now.